Summary
Pastor Miles and Judi Ornelas launch the church's first marriage conference with a message titled "It Takes Two to Tango," addressing the reality that all Christian marriages experience conflict. Drawing from 1 Peter 3:7 and Ephesians 4:26-32, they teach that the issue is not whether couples fight, but how they handle disagreements. Using combat sports as an illustration, they explain that healthy marital conflict requires established boundaries, agreed-upon rules of engagement, and a clear conclusion through forgiveness. They emphasize that Christian couples must fight differently than the world by pursuing understanding, maintaining respect and love even in anger, resolving conflicts quickly, and extending grace rooted in Christ's forgiveness.
Scripture References
1 Peter 3:7 (husbands dwelling with wives in understanding, honoring them as co-heirs)
1 Peter 3:1 (wives submitting to husbands, context for mutual submission)
1 Peter 2:21-23 (Christ's example of not retaliating when suffering)
Ephesians 4:26-27 (be angry but do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your wrath)
Ephesians 4:31-32 (putting away bitterness, being kind and forgiving)
Ephesians 5:32-33 (marriage as picture of Christ and church, husbands loving wives, wives respecting husbands)
1 Corinthians 7:3-4 (rendering affection due to one another, belonging to each other)
Psalm 4:3-4 (being still, letting God search the heart instead of sinning in anger)
Matthew 5:23-24 (reconciling with others before worship)
Malachi reference (God seeing relationship with wife of youth, prayers hindered by marital strife)
Main Themes
Reality of Marital Conflict: All marriages, including godly ones, experience disagreements because two sinful people live under one roof with different backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives.
Boundaries in Fighting: Couples must establish clear boundaries such as no name-calling, not bringing up past sins, and never using divorce as a weapon or threat.
Rules of Engagement: Christian couples must fight differently than the world by following Ephesians 4:26 principles—getting angry without sinning, not letting anger persist overnight, and refusing to give the devil a foothold.
Growing in Understanding: Husbands are called to dwell with their wives in understanding (Greek word "gnosis" typically reserved for knowing God), meaning continuous growth in knowing one another deeply.
Biological and Emotional Differences: Men and women are equal but different, requiring active compassion and sensitivity to each other's experiences, stress, and biological changes rather than always trying to fix problems.
Forgiveness as Conclusion: Every fight must end through forgiveness modeled after Christ's forgiveness, with love covering a multitude of sins and preventing wasted days of coldness and distance.
Key Takeaways
